THE BLOG
Tips to Cope with Anxiety
When you have anxiety you can’t think straight, can’t stop worrying, and you feel like everything is about to collapse. Your heart might feel like it’s racing, or you might start sweating. For some people anxiety is so bad it even keeps them up at night. The worst part is that it feels uncontrollable. Like a train on the tracks about to smash everything to pieces. You just want it to stop. Anxiety can be really tough to deal with but the good news is that there are a lot of tools that can help you so that it does not take over your life.
Exercise. When anxiety is building up one of the best things you can do is move your body. Get outside if you can, go for a jog, or take a walk. Give your mind a change of scenery and work off some of that adrenaline that has built up. Many of us know that exercise is good for us physically but exercise is also great for us mentally. So incorporate exercise into your daily routine.
Self-care. Our lives are so busy these days. Most people don’t make time to take care of themselves. What makes you happy? Going out with a whole bunch of friends or taking a quiet bubble bath? We give so much to others, it’s easy to put ourselves on the back burner. But ignoring your own needs for too long can cause anxiety to build up so make yourself a priority.
Another great tool to use if you are experiencing anxiety is journaling. Sometimes just writing your worries out and putting them to paper helps you clear out your mind. Keep a journal close to your bed or in your car and the next time you start feeling anxious, write about it.
Try a guided relaxation exercise. It’s best to start with a short one at first as it can be difficult to follow along in the beginning but even relaxing for five minutes can really help with your anxiety. There are many different guided relaxation apps, but you can also find relaxation exercises on youtube, or just with a quick search of the internet. Try a few out and find one that you really like as guided relaxation exercises can really help you to feel less anxious.
Anxiety can be really difficult but the good news is that there are a lot of tools to help you cope. But if you find that you are not getting better or even getting worse please reach out to a counselor or your medical provider.
Ready to start counseling for anxiety? Schedule a consultation now.
I offer online counseling throughout Florida, so you can stay in the comfort of your own home while still getting the help you need. Click below to schedule a free 20-minute consultation and find out how I can help you start living the life you want.
Kellie Brown is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified EMDR Therapist in Florida. She specializes in providing counseling for anxiety issues.
About the Author
Kellie Brown Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Florida
Kellie Brown is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified EMDR Therapist in Florida specializing in providing counseling to people with anxiety issues. Based in Central Florida and providing online counseling throughout Florida she wants counseling to be easy and convenient for her clients. She knows that counseling for anxiety can really make a difference in a person’s life so if you have any questions about counseling for anxiety in Florida please reach out.
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Panic Attack Tools
Experiencing a panic attack can be scary and overwhelming. You might feel like your heart is racing, a sense of terror, or a loss of control. Your symptoms might be so bad that you even call 911 and go to the emergency room. You might have tried anxiety medications, or other things to control your feelings, but they don’t always work. You need real tools to help you cope with the panic you are feeling.
The first thing to remember when having a panic attack is to keep breathing. Taking slow deep breaths can really help. Turn on a fan, or open a window, get some fresh air to help you relax.
Another great tool to use if you are experiencing a panic attack is “grounding”. This is when you “ground” yourself to your present and remind yourself that you are safe, using your five senses. Notice what you see around you, use your sense of touch to feel something close to you, notice what you hear, use your nose to smell any comforting scents in the air, and if you have any food or drink nearby take a bite or sip and notice how they taste. Find your own way to incorporate grounding as a tool next time you experience a panic attack.
The next tool for panic attacks is called H.A.L.T. Ask yourself if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (HALT)? If you are then it might be time to take care of your basic needs before your symptoms worsen. Make sure that you are eating and hydrating regularly, and sleeping well. If you are feeling your anger increasing or loneliness worsening make these a priority as well, don’t let negative feelings build up to the point where they are impacting you in a bad way. Taking care of yourself is very important.
Panic attacks can be really difficult but the good news is that there are a lot of tools to help you cope with them. But if you find that you are not getting better or even getting worse please reach out to a counselor. Oftentimes talking to a counselor, even for a few sessions can help.
Ready To Get Started?
Schedule a free 20-minute consultation and find out how I can help you if you have experienced a traumatic event.
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When Helping Others Hurts - The Mental Toll of COVID-19 on Medical Professionals
Doctors, nurses, paramedics, LPNs, ARNPs, and many others are on the front lines of the COVID-19 Pandemic. They are helping us fight this terrible disease, putting themselves in danger at times as well. COVID-19 is an extremely dangerous disease by itself but with some hospitals experiencing a shortage of supplies, and an overwhelming amount of patients the situation is even worse.
Many medical professionals are worried about catching COVID-19 themselves, infecting others, including those they love. And you just have to turn on the news to see how many other medical professionals have already gotten sick or died. These are very real traumatic events they are facing. Real life and death situations.
We hear a lot about medical professionals taking care of themselves physically, needing to clean their hands and wear proper personal protective equipment (PPE). But we also need to talk about the importance of medical professionals taking care of their mental health, as they are experiencing traumatic events on a daily basis.
Acute Stress Disorder (ASD) can occur right after a traumatic event. Flashbacks, and experiencing nightmares of what happened are common. Many people experience a sad mood, and feeling depressed. Having problems remembering parts of what happened is also common. Trouble sleeping, irritability, and difficulty concentrating are also symptoms of Acute Stress Disorder (ASD). The person might feel very tense and on guard. And they might want to avoid anything having to do with the traumatic event. Left untreated these symptoms could worsen and lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
The good news is that there is help for ASD and also PTSD. Talking to a counselor can help you work through your emotions and find hope for the future. If you or someone you love needs help please reach out.
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Schedule a free 20-minute consultation and find out how I can help you if you have experienced a traumatic event.
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Investment
Holding On To Anger - When a loved one is abusing drugs or alcohol
Many of the people that I talk to express how angry they are about their loved one’s drug and alcohol use. They are tired of the lying, and broken promises. They hold onto so much anger, so much hurt. They keep hoping for just one good day, one meal that is not ruined by drugs or alcohol. They desperately want things to change, and when they don’t, because addiction is so hard to conquer, the anger just keeps growing and growing inside of them.
You are justified in having that anger. Drugs and alcohol have probably ruined so many things in your life. Birthdays, celebrations, time with family, all ruined because your loved one was either actively using, trying to use, or sick because they did not use. You have every right to be angry about that.
When your loved one starts experiencing severe consequences due to their drug and alcohol use, you hope again that “this is it, they have hit rock bottom”. They might have lost their job, just been arrested, lost their children, or maybe they just overdosed and ended up at the ER. Your loved one comes to you, asking for help, telling you that they are done with that old life, things are going to change. You give them money, help them find treatment, maybe even help them find a job, or take care of their children while they get back on their feet.
For awhile, things are better, you think this is it, I am glad its over. But then things start changing again. You notice that they aren’t their usual self, or they are late, they start getting phone calls from people you don’t know. Your loved one might be more tired than usual, more stressed, more secretive. At first you chalk it up to them working too hard, being sick, “going through a lot right now”. But then they start asking you for money, they start selling things, draining accounts. The money isn’t adding up. You tell yourself, they had to spend the money on gas, or prices are going up. That is how addiction is, it sneaks up on you. You don’t want to believe it, but you know your loved one has relapsed. And your anger starts building up again. Anger because you know that the drugs and the alcohol are taking over again, taking your loved one from you again. And it is just a matter of time before something bad happens again.
I understand your anger. You have every right to be angry. Every right to be hurt and hate this situation. You want to lock your loved one up in the house so they can never go buy drugs or alcohol again. You want to be with them 24/7, watch where they go, watch who they hang out with, go through their belongings, see if you can catch them using, stop them before doing more drugs or alcohol. If you find their stash, you throw it away and get even more angry that they even brought it into the home.
You are so angry at your loved one, so angry for everything they are putting you through, and so tired of the endless cycle of addiction. Holding all this anger inside of you starts taking a toll, you start losing sleep, being short tempered with other family members, your muscles get so tight because the anger is stopping you from relaxing at all. You have done everything you can to help your loved one, and they are using again, of course you are angry.
But I want you to ask yourself, who is that anger helping? Is that anger helping them get the help that they need? Is that anger helping you? Sometimes family members think that if they only yell loud enough, or get mad big enough, that their loved one will stop using. And I am going to tell you right now, your loved one’s addiction has nothing to do with you. You didn’t cause it and your anger isn’t going to stop it. Your anger isn’t going to help them and it certainly will not help you either.
Letting go of the anger is probably one of the hardest but most important things you can do to help not just yourself but your loved one as well. Al-Anon meetings or Nar-Anon meetings can help give you support as you find a new path. Individual counseling can help as well. Its important to find what works for you. If you have any questions or want to schedule an appointment please reach out.
Why Won’t My Loved One Just Quit Using Drugs and Alcohol?
This is a question you probably asked yourself a million times. If they just stopped using drugs and alcohol everything would be better, their lives would be better, you would worry less, and both of you would have less stress. Unfortunately when a person is caught up in addiction, it’s hard to get out. Just go to an al anon meeting in Pinellas County, or ask someone at a nar-anon meeting in Hillsborough County. This is a hard disease to get out of, a hard disease to survive. It’s easy for us on the outside to look through the window and know that if our loved one, just stopped using drugs, just got a job, just started thinking clearly things would get better. And your right, but it is a lot harder for them to do this then we realize.
There are several reasons for this. Number one, the environment. Are they in an environment that supports drug and alcohol use? Are their friends using drugs, drinking, partying like its 1999 every day? Do they have drug dealers coming around them all the time? Like any sales person, drug dealers, can be very personable, to the point that your loved one might actually think their drug dealer is really a good friend. The environment that your loved one is in can be a huge factor in how easy it is for them to get sober.
What about your loved one’s access to money? If they are still working then they will still have a pay check coming in which would make it really easy to buy drugs or alcohol. Maybe they are not working but have a friend or family member giving them cash regularly. Do they have a trust fund or money from a settlement coming in? Do they have property, or a car that they can or have sold? Maybe they are asking you if they can “borrow” money from you, but then they don’t pay you back.
When all these legal ways of obtaining money are run dry the person with the drug or alcohol problem might turn to stealing. Before they started stealing, you might have had some ideas that they were using drugs or alcohol, but once you see your missing jewelry, or their face in the local mugshots, you know their drug or alcohol problem is real. You know that they need a drug and alcohol treatment program quickly because you know that your loved one might do anything to get more drugs and alcohol and it is scary. At this point many families get rightfully angry, sad, and worried, especially if their loved one stole from them. This is really sad but it happens, and is why I recommend my clients have a safe or lock box to secure their valuables and prescription medications. Talking to others who understand by going to things like al anon meetings in Tampa, can help you see that you aren’t the only family member struggling with this same issue.
Another thing I want you to consider are mental health issues. If a person has depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD, or trauma issues, coupled with a substance use issue it just makes it so much harder for them to get the help that they need to stay sober. If your loved one needs medications but isn’t taking them or don’t even have basic coping skills, it will be very hard for them to stay sober. Drug and alcohol counseling programs in Hillsborough, Pinellas, and Pasco Counties in Florida are great and can work on helping your loved one build up their coping skills while also addressing some of their mental health issues, but they still might not have everything your loved one needs. Even the best programs are limited and might not be the right fit for everyone. So finding the right drug or alcohol counseling program is really important.
Physical dependency, is another reason why it’s so hard for your loved one to just quit drugs and alcohol cold turkey. Pinellas, Hillsborough, and Pasco Counties are being hit hard by the opiate crisis. When I worked at an opiate medication management treatment center, I saw first hard why it’s so hard to fight the opiate crisis in Florida. When a person is physically dependent on a substance they feel like they have to keep using it just so they don't get sick. This is kind of like when you drink a lot of coffee or soda with caffeine, then suddenly stop, you most likely will get a headache. But instead of the headache, imagine that you literally feel that you might die. For certain substances, if your loved one is physically dependent on them, stopping their use could actually kill them. That is why it is so important that if your loved one has a substance use issue they receive medical care and drug and alcohol treatment from a provider that understands addiction issues.
These are only some of the many reasons your loved one might struggle with quitting their drug and alcohol use. Even if they do go to a drug and alcohol counseling program, relapse can happen as substance use issues are so difficult to treat. For families and loved ones, it can be really hard to watch addiction take over your loved one’s life. From finding drug and alcohol counseling in Hillsborough County, to questions about al anon in Tampa, if you need help please reach out.
Narcan in Hillsborough County: What You Need to Know
The Tampa Bay Times recently reported that all Hillsborough patrol deputies will begin carrying an opioid overdose antidote, Narcan. Hillsborough County Fire Rescue is also receiving 3,800 Narcan doses as well. I want to emphasize that number 3,800, just for Hillsborough County Fire Rescue. On one hand this is really great news that Hillsborough County is going to have better access to Narcan, but on the other hand it’s very sad that opiate overdoses are so common.
In all my years of working with clients with addiction issues I will tell you that people who have a problem with drugs or alcohol are highly skilled at hiding it from their loved ones, hiding it from you. They love you, and their family so much, and for many people with addiction issues they are too ashamed of themselves to let you know the whole truth. And that is why addiction is such a terrible disease, it hides, and strengthens in the shadows. You might have suspicions that something is not right with your loved one, you might even think that they are on drugs. But I am going to tell you, most likely you have no idea how bad it is. Your loved one is going to deny, minimize, and lie to you to keep you from finding out the whole truth. This is just how addiction is.
I have never seen someone fully admit the extent of their substance use issues to their family and that is really scary because you don’t know what you are fighting. It’s like going into a boxing match and not being able to see your competitor, you are going to get knocked out. And that is why you need professional help to deal with this problem. Addiction experts already know what fight you and your loved one are facing. If you go to an Al-Anon, or Nar-Anon meeting in Hillsborough County you might hear some of the horror stories of what could happen. But the real stories, the ones you don’t want to know, but really need to hear, you’re only going to get those from the first responders.
First responders in Hillsborough County already know the fight you are facing. They have already seen what addiction looks like and that is why they have started carrying Narcan, and they are carrying a lot. That should tell you something. They know that when there is an opiate overdose, seconds matter between life and death, and they want to be prepared
What Can You Do?
Educate yourself. It is important that everyone be aware of the signs of a potential drug overdose. If the person isn’t responding, has shallow breathing, their skin might feel cold or clammy, maybe their pupils don’t look right. There might be drug paraphernalia around them, or their might not be. The person might look like they are just sleeping, but in an unusual place, or unusual position. I would rather you wake someone up and have them lose sleep, then you lose them to an overdose. Even if something just doesn’t seem right to you, trust your gut and encourage that person to get checked out by a medical professional. If you do suspect a drug overdose, please call 911 right away and let them know so that the first responders can be ready to help. Remember that seconds matter between life and death. It is better to be safe than sorry. And now since more first responders will be carry Narcan, people have a better shot at surviving an overdose.
What happens if my loved one was given Narcan to stop an overdose?
Watching someone almost die can be really hard on you. It might be a wakeup call to your loved one, or it might not be. Either way, you are going to be going through some difficult emotions. Getting support for yourself is going to be really important. Talking to another person who has gone through the same thing you have can help. Many people find that Nar-Anon in Hillsborough County or Al-Anon in Hillsborough County helpful. Others need more personalized support. Quiet Water Counseling offers free consultations, if you have any questions, please reach out.
Finding Help in Pinellas, Hillsborough, and Pasco Counties: What are Al-Anon and Nar-Anon Meetings?
A lot of people have reached out and told me that they really aren’t sure what Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are. Maybe you had a friend, or coworker suggest that you look up Al-Anon in Pinellas, or Al-Anon in Hillsborough County. Maybe they mentioned how great the support there is or how Tampa has so many Al-Anon meetings to choose from. But you don’t really know what it is, or if it’s right for you.
You do know that drugs and alcohol are a huge problem in the Tampa Bay Area. Actually they are a huge problem all over Florida, and all over the United States. So many people in fact are dealing with their loved ones drinking or drug use, and so many families are struggling. You are not alone, even though sometimes it might feel like you are.
Florida is a beautiful state, especially Pinellas, Hillsborough, and Pasco counties but there is this disease of drug and alcohol problems that is killing the people we love here. Having a loved one with a drug or alcohol problem is really difficult to admit, much less talk about. With other diseases like with cancer, or diabetes, families have a whole lot more support, people talk about and help each other. They have walks, and wear bright colors to show support. There isn’t the shame that comes with addiction issues. Drug and alcohol problems are a whole other animal, living in the shadows of our society.
You probably have heard about and know that Alcoholics Anonymous, AA, is for people who have a drinking problem, and Narcotics Anonymous, NA, is for people addicted to drugs. There are so many AA and NA meetings in Pinellas, Hillsborough, and Pasco Counties that your loved one could go to a meeting multiple times a day. But what about you? What about the family members? Where is your help and your support?
That’s where Al-Anon and Nar-Anon come in, these are twelve step support groups in the community for people who have a loved one with a drinking or drug problem. Pinellas, Hillsborough, and Pasco counties have thriving Al-Anon meetings. There are a lot of Nar-Anon meetings as well but Al-Anon meetings seem to be more plentiful. These meetings might be at a local church or meeting hall, in rooms rented just for the meeting, and not affiliated with the specific church. They could be anywhere in the community, you might pass by one every day and not even know because it is not openly advertised and it is supposed to be anonymous. The meetings are free to attend, but they most likely will pass a basket asking for a small donation to help pay for the rent, coffee, and literature materials.
Each of the individual Al-Anon/Nar-Anon Meetings are connected to a larger area of districts/areas. For example Al-Anon in Hillsborough County is District 8, Al-Anon in Pinellas County is District 7, but the Al-Anon Meetings of Citrus, Hernando, and Pasco Counties are combined into District 5. Each of the Districts will have events and meetings specific to their area, which will only be advertised privately. Much like AA and NA, Al-Anon and Nar-Anon meetings from multiple districts might come together for conferences, or other events. Many of the events might include or be co-located with AA or NA events as well, but not always. As with all the meetings and events anonymity is very important.
Finding the support you need when you have a loved one with a drug or alcohol problem can be really difficult. One way to get help is through Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings in Pinellas, Hillsborough, and Pasco counties. But sometimes the meetings aren’t enough. Sometimes having one on one support and more personalized attention can help. So if you have any questions please reach out. Quiet Water Counseling not only offers support to clients in the Tampa Bay area, but to clients all over Florida.
My top three self-care tips
Three self-care tips if you have a loved one with a drug or alcohol problem
Tampa, Florida is experiencing an overwhelming amount of people with drug and alcohol problems. But behind every person with a substance use issue, is a family member, hoping that their loved one stops using drugs.
It’s very easy for drug and alcohol issues to take over, not just the person addicted, but affect the family as well. If you have a loved one with substance use issues, these are the top three things that I want you to make sure you are doing.
Number one, I want you to make sure you are getting plenty of sleep. Number two, I want you to make sure you are eating healthy and number three, I want to make sure that you are exercising regularly.
These things might seem simple enough but just because something is simple, does not mean that it is easy to do. Let me explain, you know how when you’re riding on and airplane and they always give a safety brief. Every time they say the same exact thing. If an oxygen mask falls down in case of an emergency you are supposed to put it on yourself before you help the person next to you. That means that even if I am traveling with a baby who can’t help themselves I am still supposed to get my oxygen mask on before I help the baby. If your anything like me, that might be hard for you. I naturally want to help others and make sure they are okay. But think about it, if I am getting oxygen for the baby, I might not get my own oxygen in time, where would that leave us and then who will help the baby?
I can’t help anyone else unless I take care of myself first. I am going to say it again, because this is sooo important. Unless you are taking care of yourself, you cannot help anyone else. We naturally love our family members and want to help them any way we can. But sometimes when drugs and alcohol take over our loved one’s life, we really need to stop and think before allowing the cycle of drugs and alcohol to take over our lives as well. It’s very easy to get caught up in helping our loved ones, maybe they are sick from using, or hung over, maybe they lost their driver’s license and need a ride, maybe they were arrested and need to post bail. Unfortunately it can be a spiral sometimes, spinning out of control.
That is the reason it is so important for you to focus on the very basics of taking care of yourself. Starting with getting a good night’s sleep. It sounds so simple but sooo many of my clients have problems sleeping. And I bet if you’re reading this you might have had a sleepless night or two yourself. Some of the problem might be just worrying about your loved one, worrying if they are going to be okay, worrying about the drugs and alcohol taking over. You might be stressed from trying to find a drug rehab and knowing that the drug crisis in Tampa, Florida is very real. But it also might mean more than that. How old is your mattress? You might need to consider getting a new one or might even consider talking to your primary care provider about medical issues for not sleeping well. If you aren’t sleeping well, you are not going to be able to function well.
Eating healthy, it is so easy to go through the fast food drive through, just real quick when you are stressed. Drive times in Tampa are long enough and on top of that you are worried about your loved one who needs drug or alcohol treatment. I get it, I have been there. But it’s not going to make you feel good and it’s not going to help in the long run. Eating healthy and regular meals is so important. Especially when you are stressed, focusing on your nutrition during these tough times is going to help give you the energy to get through the difficulties.
I know I am not the only person who tells you this but exercise also helps with both your physical and your emotional wellbeing. It’s a great stress reliever. I for one feel so much better when I am exercising regularly. Even just walking around the block after dinner can help. Florida weather is normally beautiful, take advantage of it.
When a loved one is addicted to drugs or alcohol it can affect the whole family. It is important that you do everything you can to take care of yourself. And remember that you are not alone. Drug and alcohol problems are very real in Florida, especially in the Tampa Bay and surrounding areas. Finding help for your loved one, like a drug treatment program is hard enough. But you need to make sure that you get help as well. Take care of yourself. If you need anything else. Please reach out.
Notice of Privacy Practices and Why it is Important to You
It’s one of those many papers you get when you go see your doctor or other medical professional, The Notice of Privacy Practices. If you are like me you probably don’t read it all the way through, it’s just another piece of paper I feel like I have to sign, another law in our health care system. Well let me tell you… boy was I wrong in thinking that!!
In starting Quiet Water Counseling I am now having to read it ALL. All the laws and regulations on top of laws and regulations, and they all have to do with how you are treated.
You probably know the basic stuff, that you have a right (by law) to receive a copy of your medical record, you have a choice about who your medical provider talks to about your condition, and that your information might be shared to better treat you.
But did you also know that medical professionals can share all your health information with your health insurance plan to get payment? For some reason this has always bothered me. I guess I’m kinda old school like that, not wanting to share someone’s personal information with some stranger I don’t know. I get it though, does it really matter that my health insurance company gets access to my weight or blood pressure readings, probably not.
But there are somethings that I don’t want to share. There might be somethings that you might not want to share either. And I think that we all should have a right to keep certain things private. If you want to read my Notice of Privacy Practices you can find it on my website at www.QuietWaterCounseling.com. And please let me know if you have any questions.
Top three tips if you are hosting Thanksgiving and having somebody with a substance use disorder coming over
These are my top three tips if you are hosting Thanksgiving and having somebody with a substance use disorder coming over. Maybe they just got out of treatment or maybe they’re just about to go into rehab.
Number one, consider not serving alcohol. A lot of Thanksgivings you might want to have a beer or some wine but for the person with a substance use disorder it could be very tempting for them to relapse. You can try serving other things like a lemonade, sweet tea, maybe even a Shirley Temple.
Number two, consider locking up any medications you might have in the home. Finding a lockbox is really easy. They sell them at Wal-Mart or you can order one off Amazon. Unfortunately many people with substance use disorders get prescription pills just from stealing them from people they know. So if you have an old bottle of pain medications from a previous surgery or even an over the counter medication like cough syrup in your medicine cabinet you might want to consider locking it up in a lock box. A lock box is also a good idea if you have kids in the house, even if they are just visiting, you can never be too safe.
Number three, I want you to make sure you have fun. Just because a person has substance use disorder, and just because a person is struggling, it doesn’t mean they can’t or shouldn’t enjoy Thanksgiving just like everyone else. So get the pumpkin pie and a whole bunch of turkey and I want you to have fun!!